Bishop's Dinner 2003

“How attractive is wisdom in the aged! Rich experience is the crown of the aged” [Sir. 25:5-6].

Three sisters ages 92, 94 and 96 live in a house together. One night the 96 year old draws a bath. She puts her foot in and pauses. She yells to the other sisters, “Was I gettin’ in or out of the bath?”

The 94 year-old yells back, “I don’t know. I’ll come up and see.” She starts up the stairs and pauses. “Was I going up the stairs or down?”

The 92 year old is sitting at the kitchen table having tea listening to her sisters. She shakes her head and says, “I sure hope I never get that forgetful.” She knocks on wood for good measure. She then yells, “I’ll come up and help both of you as soon as I see who’s at the door.”

Age is a funny thing:

Do you realize that the only time in our lives when we like to get old is when we’re kids?

If you’re less than 10 years old, you’re so excited about aging that you think in fractions. “How old are you?” “I’m 4 and half.”

You’re never 36 and a half, but you’re 4 and a half going on 5! That’s the key.

You get into your teens, now they can’t hold you back. You jump to the next number. “How old are you?” “I’m gonna be 16.”

You could be 12, but you’re gonna be 16. And then the greatest day of your life happens: you become 21. Even the words sounds like a ceremony-you BECOME 21. YES!!!!

But then you turn 30. Ooohhh, what happened here?? Makes you sound like bad milk. He TURNED. We had to throw him out. There’s no fun now. What’s wrong?? What changed???

You BECOME 21, you TURN 30, then you’re PUSHING 40 ...stay over there, it’s all slipping away...

You BECOME 21, you TURN 30, you’re PUSHING 40, you REACH 50...my dreams are gone...

You BECOME 21, you TURN 30, you’re PUSHING 40, you REACH 50 and then you MAKE IT to 60 ...Whew! I didn’t think I’d make it.

You BECOME 21, you TURN 30, You’re PUSHING 40, you REACH 50, you MAKE IT to 60, and by then you’ve built up so much speed, you HIT 70!

After that, it’s a day by day thing. You HIT Wednesday, you get into your 80s, you HIT lunch. Some at this stage won’t even buy green bananas, “Well it’s an investment, you know, and maybe a bad one.”

And it doesn’t end there...Into the 90’s, you start going backwards: I was JUST 92. Then a strange thing happens, if you make it over 100, you become a little kid again: I’m 100 and a half!!

Age is a funny thing:

Currently 12.7 % of the Canadian population is aged 65 and over.

By 2026 the proportion will increase to 21.42%.

The very elderly, those 85 and above, will increase by over 100% during this period.

This phenomenon has often been termed the silent revolution.

We can justifiably be proud of the Beneficiaries of tonight’s dinner - Friends of Seniors Foundation, St. Michael’s Health Centre, Fr. Albert Lacombe Home Society, and St. Joseph’s Home for the Aged.

An aging population has major societal and ethical implications.

“Intergenerational tensions lead to “ageism,” which has been defined as systematic and negative age discrimination.

“There is the stereotyping of the elderly as physically and mentally incompetent.

“Older workers face difficulties in the job market and also have to contend with mandatory retirement.

“In times of economic restraint, there is competition for scarce resources and a perceived “pension burden” associated with an aging population.

“Workplaces face increasing time lost through worker needing to care for elderly relatives.

“The marketplace is changing due to the greater need for health services and pharmaceuticals, while the increased number of elderly voters will have political consequences.

“A major issue is the impact on the health care system, since responding to this aging population is one of the most significant challenges facing our already challenged system.

“How attractive is wisdom in the aged! Rich experience is the crown of the aged” (Sir. 25:5-6).

Growing Up... Or Growing Old The first day of school our professor introduced himself and challenged us to get to know someone we didn’t already know .I stood up to look around when a gentle hand touched my shoulder. I turned around to find a wrinkled, little old lady beaming up at me with a smile that lit up her entire being. She said, “Hi handsome. My name is Rose. I’m eighty-seven years old.  Can I give you a hug?”

I laughed and enthusiastically responded, “Of course you may!” and She gave me a giant squeeze .”Why are you in college at such a young, innocent age?” I asked. She jokingly replied, “I’m here to meet a Rich experience husband, get married, have a couple of children, and then retire and travel.” “No seriously,” I asked. I was curious what may have motivated her to be taking on this challenge at her age.” I always dreamed of having a college education and now I’m getting one!” she told me. After class we walked to the student union building and shared a chocolate milkshake. We became instant friends. Every day for the next three months we would leave class together and talk non-stop. I was always mesmerized listening to this “time machine” as she shared her wisdom and experience with me. Over the course of the year, Rose became a campus icon and she easily made friends wherever she went. She loved to dress up and she revelled in the attention bestowed upon her from the other students. She was living it up. At the end of the semester we invited Rose to speak at our football banquet. I’ll never forget what she taught us. She was introduced and stepped up to the podium. As she began to deliver her prepared speech, she dropped her three by five cards on the floor. Frustrated and a little embarrassed she leaned into the microphone and simply said, “I’m sorry I’m so jittery. I gave up beer for Lent and this whiskey is killing me! I’ll never get my speech back in order so let me just tell you what I know.” As we laughed she cleared her throat and began: “We do not stop playing because we are old; we grow old because we stop playing. There are only four secrets to staying young, being happy, and achieving success. “You have to laugh and find humour everyday.

“You’ve got to have a dream. When you lose your dreams, you die. “We have so many people walking around who are dead and don’t even know it!” “There is a huge difference between growing older and growing up. If you are nineteen years old and lie in bed for one full year and don’t do one productive thing, you will turn twenty years old. If I am eighty-seven years old and stay in bed for a year and never do anything I will turn eighty-eight. Anybody can grow older. That doesn’t take any talent or ability. “The idea is to grow up by always finding the opportunity in change.” “Have no regrets. The elderly usually don’t have regrets for what we did, but rather for things we did not do. The only people who fear death are those with regrets.”

She concluded her speech by courageously singing “The Rose.” She challenged each of us to study the lyrics and live them out in our daily lives. At the years-end Rose finished the college degree she had begun all those years ago. One week after graduation Rose died peacefully in her sleep. Over two thousand college students attended her funeral in tribute to the wonderful woman who taught by example that it’s never too late to be all you can possibly be.

Education and Attitudes are all important:

1. Aging is not a disease, and the majority of the elderly remain physically and mentally independent. Degenerative diseases, however, become more frequent among the elderly.

Unfortunately, many health care professionals are not well trained to manage the specific needs of the frail elderly. The focus is on diagnosis, investigation and curative treatments with a tendency to neglect the care and ongoing management necessary for maintaining autonomy and independence.

Negative attitudes exist. The frail elderly are sometimes referred to as “bed blockers” or “placement problems.” The term “gomers” has also been used. This is an acronym for “get out of my emergency room.” This typifies the approach of blaming the elderly for the problems rather than recognizing that the cause rest with the shortfalls of the health care system.

The role of specialized geriatric services is a major factor is meeting this challenge. The fundamental premise of such services is that much of the disease, disability and dependence in old age is preventable, treatable or manageable in seniors with complex health problems and unique needs that present challenges for accurate diagnosis and assessment. Inaccurate diagnosis may result in inappropriate treatment, leading to further loss of health and independence, premature placement and unnecessary long lengths of stay in acute care. Such services should be available to all Canadians and community care must be enhanced.

2. Death is a natural stage in human life and in an aging society the end-of-life care of seniors should become a national priority. The emphasis on end-of-life care has tended to focus on the needs of younger people with cancer or HIV/AIDS and not on the needs of seniors. There is an ongoing need to improve the care in the last stages of life by addressing issues of maintaining comfort, delivery of care, pain control, and clarifying ethical issues related to artificial nutrition and hydration, and resisting pressures for legalization of physician-assisted suicide and euthanasia. The role of advanced care directives as a means of recognizing the autonomy and wishes of the elderly is also an important issue.

3. “How are we to be in relationship with the elderly?”

“What will really benefit, improve and enrich their lives?”

Helene McCormick, a graduate student in Theology at Montreal’s Concordia University, has undertaken a study on outreach ministry to the elderly. There are two noteworthy items in her preliminary report.

First, McCormick identifies loss and loneliness as two major challenges facing older adults.

Second, 81% of the respondents to her survey ranked “personal attributes” highest among the skills required for ministry to the elderly.

These results remind us that humans are relational and that human dignity is the core-value.